Precious Promises

Open essay here:

To Christian Wives (and Their Husbands) from a Christian Widow

This essay was originally written in 2014 while I was still sorting through my relationship with my late husband. I was making progress in coming to conclusions. This was expanded upon in my blog post in February 2015, but this booklet is designed more as a resource to share with others for the sake of their own marriages than as a summary of my own therapeutic writings.

I am fairly sure that many marriages, in my congregation and others, have deteriorated to the point of unhappiness. Wives, especially, are hurt by their acceptance of less than what they want and need out of a sense of obligation to the commitment of their vows, whether their husbands honor their own vows or not. The goal of the essay is to urge Christians to not settle for less than what God designed marriage to be. What an impact Christian marriages could have on the world if they were truly great!

I am determined that if I marry again, I will not compromise these hard lessons learned from my unhappy marriage. I want a marriage where we are so in love that it will be obvious to others and that we will have great news to share with them that God really does intend for marriage to be truly happy and romantic for the rest of our lives.

At the end when I mention needing reassurances before deciding whether to marry someone, I have left out my list of ten questions that I will ask myself. I left them out not because they are unusual or secret, and in fact I’d be happy to share them with anyone who is interested. I just don’t want any man I may be interested in and who may read my blog to get the wrong idea. My list is made up of character traits and dynamics between us that are important to me, probably the same as most women would ask. I’d just rather discuss them directly with a man than have him read them here!